003 If Knowing is Half the Battle, What is the Other Half?

July 20th, 2014 · 37 mins 23 secs

About this Episode

Show Summary

Leslie and Laura explore the difference between a business owner and an entrepreneur and how it relates to marriage and parenthood. There’s an update on marriage coaching, which made Leslie want to title this episode “It gets difficult.” They talk about things they are starting today that make them better parents and partners in life; and they close the show with what they’re going to do for each other this week.

Show Resources

  • Starting From Nothing Podcast: “Entrepreneurs Versus Business Owners. What’s the Difference? (iTunes link)
  • The “official” Marriage Startup Podcast contact form now! Use it when Twitter and Facebook just aren’t right. Speaking of Facebook…
  • Facebook page is live and working, come say hello and if you like us, then Like us.
    • Mandatory cute wedding cake photo fight at the end of this post.


  • Facebook Profile pictures and accompanyingphotoshoot courtesy of the amazing and very fun to hang out with Lesley Barr. Check out her professional work at:


  • Transcript, by Jessica Shaham Transcription Services, available in pdf download here.

Show Highlights

Introduction

Laura realizes she doesn’t do All The Things anymore, thanks in part to the new, shared Definition of Done from Episode 1. Woot!

We’ve had more people join us in making their relationships better than we ever expected.

  • Update from the future: Thanks to all of you, the Marriage Startup Podcast made iTunes New & Notable podcasts list in the Business category. This only happens when people listen and then rate and/or review the podcast. You made this possible, you are getting the message out there, we couldn’t do this without you.

Main Show

Leslie loves the Starting from Nothing Foundation Podcast because it takes a very different approach to being an entrepreneur. Bryan Franklin and Jennifer Russell were guests on episode 51, “Entrepreneurs Versus Business Owners. What’s the Difference? (iTunes link). Leslie does his best to do justice to Bryan and Jennifer’s “Bridge analogy” but you should really go listen to that episode, it’s amazing.

The “Bridge analogy” explains the dissatisfaction Leslie has had. He explains how having a personality that becomes the solution hinders his ability to be a father and a husband or even just a friend.

How do you have a date with a bridge? (Spoiler: You don’t!)

Laura loves that this discussion helped her articulate how this podcast is really for anybody who invests fully growing something. She sees where her parent friends can really connect.

The Bridge definition is incredibly illuminating to the experience of parenthood, you have no choice in becoming the Bridge. A new identity is thrust upon you and you scramble to catch up.

“I grieved the loss of the girl I had been and realized there was no way to go back.”

Laura confesses that she over-educates herself as a defense mechanism against fear.

They try not to be clever and make a parallel between birthing babies and building a business! But, well…turns out there are a lot of parallels.

Leslie and Laura both talk about how important it is to admit “I need help!” to each other, and treat each other as equals. Laura has been working on learning to ask for help for a few years. She is a great support person, but is still learning to let the partnership flow in both directions and receive the partnership and help that Leslie offers.

Marriage Coaching Update

Today’s marriage coaching session was so difficult for Leslie that he really doesn’t want to talk about it. Suffice it to say, some very raw areas of brokenness were exposed.

Specifically: both Leslie and Laura were responding inappropriately to a situation with their daughter, Sophia.

Krayna helped them discover the roles they were taking in the Drama Triangle, and – much to his relief – helped Leslie see that he is the problem, not his daughter.

Leslie’s first step in solving this Big Thing: “Ask for an assist.”

They find that they can’t talk about therapy without starting the next episode. They are going back next week to finish the conversation and will fully debrief in Episode 4. Stay tuned!

What we’re going to do for each other this week

Leslie isn’t going to overextend himself and will instead concentrate on following through on the Romantic Thing.

PSA: There’s nothing romantic about nagging!

Laura offers to organize a yard work party because she notices Leslie is stuck in his avoidance of mowing the lawn. Leslie hates mowing but loves moral support. (Spoiler: Laura didn’t follow through! Oops! She’ll follow through for episode 5.)

End of the Show

  • We have a contact form now!
  • Facebook page is ready, well, at least it’s live! There is a super cute “wedding cake fight!” picture.
    • UPDATE: Our awesome friend Lesley, of Lesley Barr Photography (http://lesleybarrphotography.com) took our current profile picture.
    • If you Like us on Facebook we’ll… actually, no bribes. If you honestly like the show, we’d really appreciate you Liking and Sharing the page (and the stuff on it) with your friends. And if you don’t, use that ol’ contact form to tell us how we can serve you better.


  • Please review the podcast on iTunes! It really, really, really helps get the word out.

When we fight, we always use cake. It makes a huge difference in outcomes.

When we fight, we always use cake. It makes a huge difference in outcomes.